Conflict in the Workplace

Equipping you to thrive through conflict in your place of work

Introduction

Conflict is unavoidable.

It is all around us, and can even be inside us (inner conflict). 

Interpersonal or group conflict can happen whenever we spend any time with another person, and you may be in the middle of a conflict situation right now, whether you are aware or unaware of it.

It is a part of your life, whether you like it or not, and is unavoidable. 

We can probably all remember times of conflict that cause pain, and may have even cost us our jobs or relationships.

When I am asked to teach on conflict, I sometimes ask the question:

“What words do you think of when I say the word ‘Conflict’?”

Typical responses include:

Conflict is unavoidable

  • Tension

  • Fear

  • Anger

  • Pain

  • Problem

  • Loss

  • Upset

  • Violence

  • Stress

  • Argument

  • War

  • Fighting

Over to you

What words do you associate with the word conflict? Can you think of any positive outcomes that conflict could lead to?

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Unfortunately, as conflict is perceived as such a negative experience, many of us spend an a large amount of time and energy in trying to avoid it as we think it is unhealthy and bad for us and our relationships.

But what if this negative view of conflict is actually blocking our ability resolve disagreements well, and can actually do more harm?

This course is designed to equip you to thrive through conflict in and outside of the workplace, see its potential for good, deal with it in healthy way, and get the best possible outcomes in conflict situations.

You are encouraged to read through all of the material, making notes on the ‘Over to you’ sections and practicing the ‘Try it out’ actions. If you have any feedback on this course, or would like to let us know any outcomes from what you have learned, please email vicki@multiplycoaching.com

What is conflict?

For the purposes of this course, we will be focussing on interpersonal conflict (conflict between individuals or groups of people) in the workplace.

Examples of conflict or potential conflict include:

  • The employee who overhears their boss saying on the phone that they are on the way to a meeting when they are still at the office.

  • The customer service assistant having to deal with angry customers.

  • The client who insists that they have paid the invoice, but no evidence of payment can be found.

  • The line manager who sees a team member roll their eyes when asked to take on one of the jobs and wonders how to deal with it.

  • The teacher having to break up a fight between pupils.

  • The CEO bringing their 5 year plan to the team, knowing it involves a change in direction for the business.

Definition of conflict:

At its core, conflict is a difference of opinion between people, bringing tension and unrest.

This could be due to one of three main areas:

  1. Communication problems (where the two parties want the same basic goal, but there is a difference in communication styles or languages, so two two parties think they are at odds with each other). This can happen with people who speak the same language or different languages. Communication problems can also include lack of communication, where a person feels they have not been heard or responded to.

  2. Differing values or priorities. This can happen between staff members of different departments eg sales and marketing or staff and clients. For example, a client wants to pay the least money for the best service & the company, which wants the best profit margin, and regular clients who require minimal staff interaction.

  3. Outside influences- for example one or more parties may have conflict in other areas of their life and are bringing the high emotions to a current situation.

Case Study:

Rich was cross. He had been asked to unlock the building and hated doing it.

He always struggled with the door to the workshop and had complained to his boss about it last month, but nothing had been done. He was in a bad mood that morning and left the house slamming the door, leaving his wife wondering what was going on.

As he drove closer and closer to work, he got more angry, thinking of any time when he felt that his ideas and thoughts had not been heard.

He got to the front door and swore. He was already late and if he didn’t get the building unlocked soon, the boss would come in and probably get really angry with him. It was so unfair!

He got through the front door and started unlocking the workshop door. The door wouldn’t open and Rich pushed and pulled at it, harder and harder, getting more and more frustrated.

He was aware of the time ticking by and didn’t want anyone laughing at him for his incompetence with the door, so gave it one last almighty pull. A sudden pain travelled down his arm and Rich kicked out at the door in his anger and frustration.

He kicked and kicked until he realised that the door was hanging off one hinge, looking battered, and that the boss was just walking through the front door.

Rich picked up his bag.

“I’ve had enough of this place, you never listen and I never want to set foot here again.”

With that, he was out of the door.

Over to you

What areas of conflict did you see in this case study?

What do you think was the outcome for Rich?

Where could Rich have changed his behaviours? What could have been the outcomes if he had changed his behaviour?

At its core, conflict is a difference of opinion between people, bringing tension and unrest.

Different ways of responding to conflict

As we aim to develop our ability to thrive through conflict, we need to first identify our own patterns and beliefs around conflict and how they affect us. This gives an idea of specific skills we may need to focus on to make us more effective in dealing with conflict.

Conflict Management Styles Questionnaire

The following questionnaire comes from work on Organisational behaviour byReginald Adkins. For each statement, decide how likely you are to respond in the stated way. Tick the rating you would give. It is helpful, where possible, think of real life conflict situations and apply the statements to see how you would naturally react.

Please be aware that there are different stages of conflict and we often have different conflict management styles in the different stages, but this scoring yourself in the most common situations at work give you an idea of your preferred style.

Try it Out

In your notes, write the question number and answer number that corresponds to your most likely response to each statement in the assessment below.

It is helpful, where possible, think of real life conflict situations and apply the statements to see how you would naturally react. Try to be as honest as possible so you can learn the most about your personal style.

Once you have made notes on the question numbers and answers, go to the next try it out section (below) to add up your scores.

Try it out

Scoring your results:

Add the total number for Questions 1,5,7. This is your score for the collaborating style. Note it down.

Add the total number for Questions 4,9,12. This is your score for the competing style. Note it down.

Add the total number for Questions 6,10,15. This is your score for the avoiding style. Note it down.

Add the total number for Questions 3,11,14. This is your score for the accommodating style. Note it down.

Add the total number for Questions 2,8,13. This is your score for the compromising style. Note it down.

The 15 statements correspond with the five conflict management styles we will look at. To find your preferred style, total the points for each style. The style with the highest score indicates your most commonly used strategy. The one with the lowest score indicates your least preferred strategy.

Over to You

Each of the 5 conflict management styles is useful in certain situations and can be harmful in others.

Review the management styles (below), then in your work place, try to identify which conflict management style should be used when. How does your preferred management style correspond to the style needed?

5 Conflict Management Styles

  • Competing (Shark)

    Sharks typically value their goals over relationships, meaning that if forced to choose, they would seek to achieve their goals even at the cost of the relationship involved. They might try to force opponents to accept their solution to the conflict by overpowering them.

    Pros:

    This is important when decisions are needed quickly, for example in emergency situations

    Poor performance needs to be quickly addressed and tackled.

    Cons:

    It discourages cooperation and taking initiative, leaving performance of the team dependant on one person.

    The other person does not feel valued or motivated

  • Collaborating (Owl)

    Owls highly value both their goals and their relationships. They try to begin a discussion that identifies the conflict as a problem, and strive to resolve tensions and improved the relationship by seeking solutions that satisfy the goals of both themselves and the other person.

    Pros:

    You will be seen as a skilled manager if you can successfully implement this style.

    There is a more productive and motivated workforce.

    Cons:

    It is time-consuming and involves communication and people management skills.

    It is the most tedious method to implement, often involving all parties acknowledging and working well through the conflict.

  • Compromising (Fox)

    Foxes are moderately concerned with both their goals and their relationships with others. Foxes typically seek a compromise; they give up part of their goals and persuade the other person in a conflict to give up part of their goals. They look for the middle ground between two extreme positions, where each person is happy, but not fully satisfied.

    Pros:

    Saves time.

    It facilitates better team work

    Cons:

    It can lead to resentment of the other party.

    One party might not like the feeling that they are sacrificing more than others

  • Avoiding (Ostrich)

    Ostriches tend to value avoiding confrontation more than either their goals or relationships. They often find it easier to withdraw from a conflict than to face it. This might even completely give up relationships or goals that are associated with the conflict.

    Pros:

    Some conflict is so minor that it does not need to be addressed.

    Avoiding the conflict can reduce the chance of offending others.

    Cons:

    Goals may not be reached due to avoidance of accountability.

    It can cause a build up of internal rage that may lead to an uncontrolled outburst in the long run.

  • Harmonising (Teddy Bear)

    Teddy Bears typically value relationships over their own goals; if forced to choose, Teddy Bears will often sacrifice their goals in order to maintain relationships. Teddy Bears generally want to be liked by others, and prefer to avoid conflict because they believe addressing it will damage relationships.

    Pros:

    It is a quick solution in a dilemma.

    Others may have a positive view about you in terms of being selfless and easy-going.

    Cons:

    You may be taken for granted if you keep bending to the desires of others easily.

    This should not be used where the end goal or product is highly important.